Manly Men

For the last few weeks, I've been inundated with conversations about men and women, how they're made and how they should live. Want to learn more about how your friends view the world? Have some of these conversations.

It all started with Trent Sheppard talking about how Jesus interacted with women. In a broken, archaic culture, women were viewed as property (and still are in most parts of that region). Jesus entered into that cultural context and blew that attitude out of the water. He sat down with a woman who had been oppressed her entire life because of the evils of racism and sexism and made known to humanity the value of her life. Despite the criticisms he got from the people around him, he lifted - not just her spirit - but her status. She was created by God, in the image of God and for a divine purpose.

A few nights ago, I was with Michael Dalton (and Andrew Smith). They had prepared an amazing dinner for the three of us to eat. I made mention that I felt like Michael notes his gender a lot (ie. quotes like "be the man I'm supposed to be"). Michael and I have had lots of conversations about "manliness," and for the most part, I think we agree on what that means, and in short, I'd say "stepping up" is a good summary phrase. But honestly, I believe that is essentially the definition of what it means to be a follower of Christ, man or woman. We must discover our intended purpose and faithfully live it out. That's why I think it's strange that Michael mentions his gender so much.

Then today, I got an email referencing Trent's talk. The guy who wrote it had lots of questions about it, but the thing that stood out the most to me was his description of one of his heros. It went like this:

"he is a manly man; red meat eating, truck driving, manly man "

I'm beginning to see that the issue isn't just how women are viewed but our understanding of ourselves in light the Truth. This guy admires someone because he eats red meat and drives a truck. It made me want to scream because honestly, I feel like the guys I know that are proud of their trucks are some of the least manly men I've met. They don't have a creative bone in their bodies, will always work for the man and have to prove something to the world by jacking their truck into the air (generalization, I know).

It's interesting because all of these conversations have been taking place in the midst of my learning a bit of science behind man-ness and women-ness. I highly recommend checking out last week's episode of This American Life on Testosterone. It's fascinating. There are physiological differences between men and women. Sometimes those differences reinforce stereotypes - but most of the time have nothing to do with who people actually are.

Here's where I land. I'm here - not to build myself up - but to give myself for the world. There cannot be a more lowly place than where God has called me to be. If someone asks me to carry their load one mile, I don't stand up and yell, "no way" in defiance. I offer to carry it two. If someone hits me on the cheek, I don't punch back in anger. Instead, I offer my other cheek.

Men aren't men because they're tough. They're men because they are living out their individual calling as a human.
Women aren't women because they are girly. They're women because they are living our their individual calling as a human.

It's time people stop being afraid to love one another. It's time that people stop thinking they have to defend their name and build their kingdom. We're here to love, and no greater love has anyone - man or woman - than the one who lays down everything (even life) for a friend.