Friday, June 20, 2008

Thailand

I'm leaving for Thailand in a few hours. I'm not usually one to well up in emotion, but I have had some pretty emotional experiences in the last few days... all of which have been really good. They've come in the midst of learning three things.

1. I'm going to Thailand with about 90 other people who will be doing various things to facilitate a conference for about 500 missionary families from all over Southeast Asia who come together every year for a week long retreat/training. I will be leading worship with several other people. When I was first asked to go on this trip, there was talk about me choosing some of the musicians that would be coming as the band. I thought to myself, "Dang, how rad is that? A free trip to Thailand with some of my friends to play music!" Well, in the end, I didn't get to choose the musicians. The guys who are going are pros and will do an amazing job, but I've found myself a bit sad this week. Honestly, I feel like I'm about to step out alone for the next few weeks. Out of the 90, there really isn't anyone I've found that I naturally just click with. This was my first emotional moment. I was driving in the car, and God just reminds me, "Find beauty in the things in which I find beauty." My emotions were a combination of joy, fear and conviction.

2. As I continued to think about beauty, the phrase, "Thy Kingdom come" really resonated in my heart and mind. The thought that God wants His Kingdom to exist here on earth as it is in heaven is astonishing! A place where there's no more death, no more sickness, no more pain... just the beauty and glory of God... That's what God desires for us here and now.

My friend, Jordan, showed me his tattoo last Saturday. It's a series of images that transition from a sword to a plow : The idea that we should move from destruction to creation. That's the picture of God's Kingdom. We must be a generation, a people, who lay down our guns and swords and are committed to plowing the ground, serving the Kingdom and creating life rather than taking it. As I was having this emotional experience with God's revelation, these words came to me...

We'll march in the army of love
to see Your kingdom come
Where the lion loves the lamb
and we give all we can
and we trade in our rights
and lay down our lives
for the sake of the kingdom of love

These lyrics were a battle cry (literally) for me in the car yesterday. I got to Sean's apartment and had to tell him about this intense moment where God had just intersected my life and heart. It feels like our generation is pregnant with this anthem. We want to see the world healed, and we live in the midst of people who are tearing it apart. We have to press on. We have to lay down our weapons and rights and lives and take up the sacrificial life of the cross. That's the only hope for our world.

3. Both these things revolved around you. Today, again, while driving in the car, I was thinking about this fact: I truly LOVE you : The people I spend my life with who inspire me, challenge me, encourage me and love me. More than ever I value relationship. That has been the root of the previous two experiences I have mentioned. First, I'll miss your life - albeit for only two weeks. Second, I know you have the power to change the world. Third, your involvement in my life is the biggest catalyst for inspiration and action in my life.

As I'm away, I will think of you often (and I've kind of committed to hand-writing some letters while I'm gone... Now that I've written it down, I'm one step closer to actually doing it). If you think of me, I ask that you pray for me. I really want to go beyond petty attractions and truly see beauty the way God sees it. I want to love like He loves and be fulfilled by Him alone. I want to come back and be a better lover of you and the people that surround us. I want to come back with fresh understanding of how we can mobilize the army of His kingdom of love.